Ma'am Can I Go to the Bathroom?

I have been a real teacher for almost a summer now. Hmmm. Maybe I need to rearrange a couple of adjectives. I have been an almost teacher for a real summer now. I can't pretend the last five weeks away - they have been the most glorious - frustrating - five weeks. I taught persuasive techniques to my summer school students so they could learn to write a 5-paragraph persuasive essay and master the reading comprehension questions on the state exam. Mostly, of course, the five weeks were a training period so that I wouldn’t make the same mistakes in the fall. I think my most discerning students realized that their teachers were new to the profession. I hope they never felt like guinea pigs. Honestly, even if these students were exposed to inexperienced teachers for the summer, I don’t think they have ever had more passionate, hard-working teachers. We were trying to prove ourselves after all. Good things I did: I encouraged, I was patient (sometimes), I got through to Danny C. and Nancy L. Bad things I did: I rolled-my eyes on several occasions (Ms. Goswamy: “Say your name and your favorite candy”; Shawn T: “Shawn and, um, peaches and cream”), I yelled at a student, I gave up on Daveon W. and Juan S.

Day Two of teaching was epic. It was the first time I was all by myself in front of real students. No more role-playing or graphic organizers asking me how I would respond if a). a student refused to do work, b). a student cussed me out or c). a student (and I really hoped this would NEVER happen) threw a book at me. For those curious, you do get a lot of a), the occasional b) and thank goodness, no c). We're all about numbers at Teach For America. We want to make significant gains with our students. It's the whole achievement gap problem after all. We're trying to change the fact that our students are performing on average four grades below their peers in high-income communities. So before Day Two, I didn't quite understand the concept of on average when it came to the numbers of teaching. I taught ninth grade English. And I had a lot of students who were further behind than four years. I had a student reading at a first grade level. I had students about to enter twelfth grade. I have students who are bored with my lectures because they are incredibly bright. I have students who are bored with my lecture because they don't understand what I'm saying.

Addressing the needs of all of my students has been the most challenging thing so far. And here I was worried about classroom management. I learned the secret on why kids act up in class - it's always the teacher's fault. If they're messing around, misbehaving, they aren't interested enough. I'm either talking above them or below them. Or right through them. Engaging a student can be tiring. You have to put on a show with hooks and fireworks, invest them in every lesson. I danced for them, I ran from poster to poster, I bribed them with candy.

By the way, on their summative exam, all my students missed the question on parallelism.

How can you absolutely love your students and also want them far, far away, past time-out corner, beyond the Dean's Office, miles beyond the school doors? One Friday, Teach For America held a college fair at Jordan High School. All of the corps members made posters of the colleges we attended and answered questions about applying, financial aid, and college life. I met a charming boy there who was the self-proclaimed big kahuna of Jordan High. He told me he could get any girl he wanted at school. I looked at his football jersey and deep dimples and believed him. After all, I’ve seen the social politics of Jordan High during nutrition and passing periods. He was one of those boys who made the girls in my class late because they sauntered down the hall, holding hands and eating their Fire Cheetos. Anyway this charming boy turned out to be the biggest punk I’ve ever met. Disrespect is the one thing I learned that I cannot handle. I’ve learned not to go by first impressions or appearances. Some of the quietest kids score the best on tests. The most friendly, charming students will not work hard. Some of them talk behind your back. For some reason, that hurts the most.